sâmbătă, 9 februarie 2008

Cum recunosti un blog al unui pastor fariseu?

Astfel de bloguri nu sunt personale, si sunt legaliste.
Nu ofera nimic din lumea reala de azi, problemele cu care se confrunta lumea azi.
Aici poti afla cum iti poti incepe "creearea unui blog de fariseu".

How To Make Your Own "Relevant Pastor Blog"

1. Quote dead theologians. And the longer they have been dead the better. Spurgeon is a great place to start, but if you don’t know who he is, about any dead guy will do.

2. Only talk about theology. After all, that’s the only thing that people care about anyway. America doesn’t really listen to music, watch TV or go to the movies. And if they do, they shouldn’t. And modern technology in worship and in the church is leading people away from the truth, so continue to use your modern blog to rail against modern influences in the church.

3. Do not be personal. People don’t care about your wife, your family, your hobbies, etc. These are not important parts of life so they should not make it into your blog. Your blog should only focus on how much you know about the Bible and how spiritual you are. Never talk about anything personal, because people don’t want to know that you have friends or are a real person. A blog is not a place to be personal, it should be reserved only for theological discussion. Try to write in such a way that people don’t think you’re a real person.

4. Take every chance you can to remind people that modern society is headed straight to hell, and that the church is leading them there. Don’t be purpose driven, be doomsday driven. It makes religious people feel better to talk about the sins of everyone else.

5. Closely related to point four, Link to books and blogs and products that illustrate what’s wrong with America, the church, or pastors. Tell us all how the church is watering down everything…from Bible translations to preaching.

6. Rail against Rick Warren every chance you get. If you don’t choose Rick Warren, pick some other famous pastor who has a big church. He must be doing something sneaky. If you can devote your entire site to bashing one particular person, you will pick up a lot of readers. Claim that he’s the anti-Christ. Demon posession will also work. Read what he writes, scour his church website, and listen to what he says, not for spiritual growth, but for anything that can be used against him.

7. Those seeker sensitive guys focusing on grace get it wrong, so to help out society, focus on the wrath of God, the judgement of God, the wages of sin and hell. We need less grace and more judgement. I think people appreciate that. And it makes the religious people feel better and think "At least we’re not that bad." The pharisees will collectively smile.

8. Be sure to make everything thing that all contemporary churches ONLY care about numbers.
In fact, any time a blog posts an attendance number, this is a tell-take sign that all they care about is numbers. Write some specific post about some mega churches to help illustrate your point that big churches must be compromising something to be attracting that many people.

9. Refer to people by their title. Pastor John. Deacon Fred. In the event that an official title is not available, you may substitute brother or sister before the word.

10. Don’t use words like relevant on your blog. Continue to strive for being irrelevant, which is much better. If you use these kind of words on your blog, other pharisees will stop reading it and you won’t get invited to the 7th annual conference on theological hermeneutical exposition based on 3rd century practices.

11. Only use the King James on your blog, because this is the only real version of the Bible anyway. Yes, Jesus spoke latin. Especially avoid the Message, because though it claims to be written by Eugene Peterson, we all know Satan is behind it.

12. Be prepared to delete comments from people that call you pharisees. We know that they just don’t get it anyway. We’re right, and that’s the end of the story.

13. In the spirit of good legalism, be sure to push your spiritual preferences onto everyone else. Find verses to support your position and feel free to use them out of context. Search the scriptures to find verses to back up your views on appropriate dress for church, rock music and drums, and drinking alcohol. If you look hard enough, you’ll find a verse to help you justify your position. And it’s not enough to have a personal conviction about these matters. You need to condemn people that don’t share these beliefs. In the event that you can’t find a good verse, just quote a dead theologian. It’s almost just as good.

14. Seekers have their untucked shirts, but we must wear what Jesus wore. Be sure to wear the proper suit and tie, the cheaper the better. They have nice poly-wool blends at Men’s Wearhouse (isn’t that a clever play on words). Sometimes, you can even find two suits for $149.

by the courtesy of

How To Make Your Own "Relevant Pastor Blog"

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